When did it become okay to not be competitive?
When did we decide our children should grow up to be little pansies who can't take a loss and so there is not a first or second place? Seriously. Life is not fair and the kids need to learn that.
I first noticed this a few years ago with a soccer club one of my boys was in. Now, for the record, I like this club. They have good theories and the coaches are fantastic, however, at the time said boy was enrolled, they played without goalies. What? Yes, no goalies so 'yay, everyone could score.' I get it, I always want my boys to be the ones scoring (so far it hasn't happened a lot, but they're young) but I realize, as do they, there is always and will always be someone out there that is faster, stronger, better than they are. Period. Are they having fun? Are they learning and using their brains and muscles? Great.
I don't know how many of you are familiar with the Pine Wood Derby, but it's kind of the ultimate scouting event for cubs. With four boys I can assure you we are quite familiar :) It's competitive. It's totally a blast. The cars are fun to see, the dads are a crack up to watch (as they pace back and forth muttering under their collective breath) and energy in the air is so high! This year there was "no winner, we are all winners and this way no one gets their feelings hurt." What? Of course there is a winner, just because you don't pass out a medal or an award, the winner will indeed brag. He will be proud of his car (and hopefully the time he spent with his dad putting it together) and he will grin from ear to ear.
Last night was the Raingutter Regatta...which in my opinion is just a reason to get every kid in attendance wet, however, the kids have fun. This time, though there weren't even actual heats. Just kids lining up and blowing on their sail. woohoo.
I understand that no one wants to make someone an underdog. It sucks to be the underdog, the loser, the wimp, but come on folks, our lives are being played right now and we have to toughen up. Our kids deserve to win and lose. They need to know what that feels like so they try harder to win. Why put your all into something that just doesn't matter? Our lives are full of competition...who gets the bigger cookie, who gets to the car fastest to get the best seat, who gets in the shower quicker to get the hot water...competition is all around us. It's not all bad and maybe we need to let our kids compete in some of these ways so when they grow up they can be successful people. What do you think?
5 weeks ago