Saturday, January 10, 2009

Guilt

The worst thing about owning a business (besides the financial issues) is the guilt that comes with it.
For instance, I am not home when my boys come running in off the bus.
I can't send my oldest to play at a friends until either Jeff or I am home.
I miss little day to day things. Like dusting or vacuuming or checking the mail.
I miss hanging out at the 'girl parties' on those summer afternoons while our kids play. Or even just seeing them all sitting out in their chairs :)
I miss things like primary activities and while I know that the kids in our class will be taken care of, I miss that I am not there to do my part to help.
And I hate it.
Don't get me wrong, I love owning this store. I love being here and being able to create everyday. I love that I can bring my boys and no one can argue. I love that I can call in sick and the boss won't get mad. I love meeting people. I love helping with scrapping emergencies...yes, there are scrapping emergencies...just ask the poor guy who was in last night after his three year old ripped up their wedding book while his wife was away...talk about look of panic. But we got it all worked out and this will be a story for his wife to enjoy (I mean seriously, he is REPLICATING these pages as closely as he can...I doubt Jeff would...he would just tell me about it so I could fix it later.)
So anyway, right now I am feeling guilty that my kids had to be taken to the activity by someone other than me, that I can't hang out with my class and play games, that I can't help Carson clean out his vivarium (fancy word for lizard habitat) since one passed away last night and get it ready for a new friend for Killer (the surviving one.)
Where is that chocolate? Heather???

4 comments:

Anderton Family said...

You are such a good writer. I love reading your posts. Don't feel too guilty. I'm a stay at home mom and still feel quilty because of all the things I should be doing with my kids because I can but am too lazy so I don't.

Nancy J said...

Your primary class missed you but they were taken care of. It always works out. It is a struggle to balance everything we are in charge of - but in the end I think it all comes together, at least that's what I am hoping.

Alicia King said...

I of course know exactly what you mean...sometimes I get sick of having a store, and just want a life with no job, never had that before! but then I would get so bored and be mad that I didn't have my store!

Bernadine said...

You are so cool! So honest and so sweet!